A Vicious Cycle

Domestic Violence (c) Hibr from Flickr. CC BY-NC-SA 2.0
Domestic Violence (c) Hibr from Flickr. CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

 
 
I tried my best to get out of the way
Of his anger, which was taught to be love,
But the blows did not stop coming that day.

The moment struck me, jolted me to say
That he had gone too far. I was being tough,
And it was my best try yet. “Get away

From me”, I yelled. “Your behaviour is depraved.”
Hearing just insolence, not the pain, he shoved.
Then the blows did not stop coming that day.

After the shock there was nothing in my brain.
Just drained with shame, on the ground. To rise above
I tried giving my best. Out of the way

Of happiness, I had stumbled. To my dismay
My chosen knight was a boxer in gloves
Whose blows did not stop coming. On that day

I knew my mistake. The day after I lay
With him. He was sorry. I believed his bluff.
I try my best to stay out of his way
But the blows may not stop coming today.

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32 thoughts on “A Vicious Cycle”

      1. I remember your post Bryan, at least that you read poetry in a poet’s home. I forgot it was Roethke! I am envious. (The link you posted is not working.) I finally have the time in my life to immerse myself in learning about poetry. I see the world differently now. Incredible!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Try this: https://speculativepoetry.wordpress.com/2014/12/04/an-evening-with-theodore-roethke/

        I still haven’t mastered phone. Probably because its smarter than me. Anyway, http://www.roethkehouse.org/ will give you a little insight to him as well.

        Poerty, in all its forms, will forever be an incredible experience for me. I only wish I had more time to write my own. Guess that’s what I get for waiting until my 40s to go to college!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. That works! I was sure I had read it and I had. Thank you for both the links. I think it’s brilliant you are studying no matter at what age.
        I read something recently that may inspire you with your poetry, “Each day life will whisper into your ear some little or large thing that must be done before turning to the poem. Yet next week, when your poem is still unwritten, you will not remember why these things were so important, or even what they were. Write your poem.” – Wesley McNair (Mapping the Heart: Reflections on Place and Poetry)

        Liked by 1 person

  1. ” but the blows may not stop coming today” this speaks the mind of those you can’t let it out, those who see love as unfair but still can’t let go, they need the strength, and I believe this poem was it… Lovely poem

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am sorry to gave caused you pain. But I take it as a compliment to the poem.
      I am surprised to see how many of us have stories to share about domestic violence. Horrifying. Looks like we all know women who have suffered and probably know men who’ll never tell us about their suffering.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh this tore at my heart! I too have known a friend that suffered this. Glad to say she is away from it now and safe too. So relieved to hear that your friend is safe ,but I can imagine it stirred up emotions for you! You did a great job!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. This ties me in knots. I have never suffered abuse, but I see women in my counseling office who have. The cycle is definitely there. “But I love! He won’t do it again! He’s sorry, he really is! If only I could do better, he wouldn’t have to hit me. . . . .”

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Abuse is a vicious cycle of hurt followed by remorse. You write about the experience like a someone who has seen it up close. I watched a family member go through this for years. Thankfully, she got out. This is such a powerful poem!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have seen it and the person is safe and happy now.
      I was practicing a form of poetry called the villanelle where you repeat two lines through out the poem in a defined manner. I couldn’t think of another theme that would benefit from this form. I am glad you felt its strength. Rather disturbed after writing this though…

      Liked by 1 person

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